As much as I’m enjoying working through my manuscript, it is a lot of work. My brain really isn’t handling “more work” right now. My day job is starting to ramp-up, socializing is coming back, and of course the puppy.
Turns out, having a tiny puppy is a TON of work. Not just the “oh yeah you gotta take it out and train it” type of work, but like…there’s also the sleep deprivation side of things. Think taking out puppy every 2 hours during the night the first week to get it going on house training, and listening to it scream because it hates being alone in a crate when you put him back. So when you add in trying to build a schedule for a creature that barely understands that you’re there to take care of it, there’s a lot of crying from both sides. Also…it’s like having a tiny shark swirling around your ankles sometimes.
Cue many people going “yeah duh” but like…you don’t know until you’re actually in charge of the razor-toothed demon that steals your heart just by falling asleep. I will not compare this to having a baby, because I don’t think this compares at all. It’s just very hard and stressful and similar to caring for a creature that has no agency…but this one has teeth and can run after you.
People call what I’m going through the “puppy blues.” There have been a lot of emotional swings dealing with the changes, which I never do well with because anxiety. I can go from being super proud and happy with puppy for him doing something cute or catching on to training, to being sad and feeling guilty when he acts out or I lose my temper with him or my partner. Luckily, I have a ridiculously understanding partner helping me get through these wild swings. (I honestly do not know how he’s putting up with me right now. I mean most of the time I’m crying because I’m frustrated with myself!)
Okay, but what about writing stuff?!
So, while I get back to a better state of mind, my revisions have stalled out a bit. This is a little sad as creative writing is where I sort things out. Revising is very different than drafting though. It’s not freeform like drafting is. There’s not so much room to air my grievances in a fictional form when I’m reading and filling out a spreadsheet.
I’ve stalled out on motivation. I can still manage to read about 1-2 chapters in a sitting. I’m about half way through my 30ish chapters. I’m going to watch the next lessons of our course and hope that kicks my butt back into gear. I’m certainly not giving up on the book, because I have a lot of ideas as to where it should go. I need to get my motivation back.
These things happen. A lot of getting back into it starts with taking care of myself. So I’m going to put that first. They call this in the writerly circles the “Creative Inhale.” I’m exhausted because I’ve been doing nothing but exhaling in my life. So I need to rebalance this, rebalance myself, and get back to my OWN routine as well as my little puppy’s. Little Nugget was moody without a schedule, of course I’d be too.
How do you balance yourself when you’re feeling out of sorts? Where do you start to get your routine back in order? How’s your writing going?