Before 2019, I wasn’t reading very much. When you’re a writer who isn’t reading, you feel like a fraud. I mean, I LOVE books. I wanted to make my living writing and reading books. But for some reason…I just couldn’t get myself to read.
I tried to read and build a solid habit. I started book after book after book but never reached the end. I would stall out halfway, or sometimes only one-third, into the book. I was in a slump that started right before I graduated college in late 2013, or maybe even before that since most of my reading was being done for classes I was taking. When I say it was bad, I read a decent 6 books in 2014 (the year I was job hunting), 1 in 2015, and only 3 in 2016.
In a way, it felt like I had lost part of my identity. I was the reader, the writer, the creative. But I wasn’t reading, barely writing, and certainly not creating.
For a while, it felt as if my college course load had completely snuffed that part of me away. But, I was more than capable of writing during college. I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning to write my fiction without any real end goal. When I think about reading, though, I think I’ve had issues with consistency for a very long time.
I would often joke to my friends that I never finished any books I tried to read. It took me months to get through any of the books my friends were devouring. It wasn’t that I was a slow reader, at least, I didn’t think so. And it wasn’t that I wasn’t enjoying the book. Oftentimes, I think I stopped because I got stressed for the characters or didn’t want it to end.
This was more of a problem when someone would lend me a book and say, “You have to read this. You’ll love it!” If that were the case, it would sit on my shelf, untouched, for years more times than I would like to admit. So, I started not to accept physical books as recommendations. (Tell me about the books, absolutely, but please do not give me your precious book babies otherwise you will not see them for quite some time.) And I still do this because I’m still on my reading “healing” journey and I’m terrible at reading what people tell me to read.
So what changed?
Well, for one, there was a global pandemic that shut a lot of stuff down and gave me a whole lot of time for reading.
More importantly, though, I stopped reading what I thought I was supposed to read and started reading what I wanted to read.
I made a go at only reading what I had on my shelf, and that worked fine for a bit. I read a few more books, but honestly, I still felt like I was forcing myself to read them. Then I bit the bullet and decided to just read what was interesting.
I think the first big change for me came from reading a series called Under the Oak Tree by Suji Kim. This started as a Web Novel, which I have experience writing, and expanded to come out in ebook format. I devoured the first “season” of this series. That was about 5 books worth of content.
This kicked off a movement of me simply reading whatever book I happened to see clips of that sounded interesting. Did this lead to me reading a lot of “bad” books? Yes. A lot I would not recommend to my friends, but they were still entertaining. What was important was that I was learning what kept me reading.
- High Stakes
- Pining and Longing in Relationships (slow burn!!!)
- Grumpy/Sunshine Dynamics
- Strong Character Development Arcs
- Fast-paced Plots Balanced by Moments of Calm
I don’t know that I’ve completely nailed down what I look for in a book, because I think that also comes with mood. What I do know now is that there are some “favorites” I have in terms of genre, plot, and overall vibe.
Reading is like drinking wine. You have to find one that goes with the meal you’re having, i.e. what’s going on in your life and what your mood is. I think buying books is like stocking the wine cellar. Sometimes it’s nice to go out and find a wine at a store, or from the library, to drink right away, and sometimes it’s one you know you’ll love but need to save for a special occasion.
What to do if you’re struggling to get back into reading
- Take the pressure off
This means no goals based on the number of books read. This means no public tracking. This means guarding your reading as something you do solely for your own entertainment, nourishment, or pleasure. Now, by all means, keep tracking your reading, I’m just suggesting that sometimes sharing those numbers is what makes us feel shy about what we are reading. - Read what you want, not what you think you should
We all have that one book we’ve always been curious about reading but people in our lives have been vocal about judging. Maybe it’s a spicy romcom, maybe it’s a space opera sci-fi, maybe it’s a massive tear-jerker. Read that book!
Do not be ashamed of reading a book because you saw a quote on TikTok or an excerpt on Instagram. That’s the point of marketing! They’re trying to reach their audience and you might just be it! - Try out a new genre
This turned out to be a game-changer for me. I had always brushed romance off as fluffy entertainment fiction. Turns out that was exactly what I needed, but also that I was pretty wrong. I, like many, assumed that people were just reading romance novels for the spice. Now, there are a lot of people out there who do, and go them! However, I am not typically a fan of heavy-handed spice. But, what I did find in the genre was the emotional connection I was lacking in some of my other reading.
I found heroines who were struggling with some of the same internal questions and critiques that I was. I found heroes who loved them because of their quirks instead of despite them. The genre made me feel seen in a way I hadn’t had before. Expand your boundaries and try out that new genre. - Re-ignite your childhood curiosity.
If you are a reader like me, you probably started reading young and found a favorite place in your local library. I used to pull books at random at the library and take them home. Sometimes they were read, and sometimes they went back without even having the spine cracked. But, I was curious.
Find that again! Want to read a book because of the pretty cover? Go for it! Saw it on the recommended table at a bookstore? Pick it up! Saw somebody reading that book at a coffee shop recently? See what drew them in! Get curious! - Leave your judgment at the door.
The biggest thing that stood in my way as a reader was…myself. I would judge myself for what I was reading or not reading. Heck, I was judging myself for having trouble reading! The judgment was building on itself forming a bigger and bigger hurdle. I wasn’t letting myself form my own opinions. Honestly, this is a huge obstacle in every aspect of my life, but tackling it with my reading is making me feel more and more empowered.
Reading is meant to be fun, informative, and anything else you want it to be. That’s the wonderful thing about reading (and probably life), you can do it however you want. There is no “right” reason for reading. There is also no “right” way to read. There is media literacy and comprehension, of course, but I mean more in the way of why.
Sometimes, you just need to stop reading. Burnout is a real thing. Give yourself a break for as long as feels right. If you’ve loved reading for a long time, you’ll be called back to it. I promise! When the books do call, listen carefully. Your heart will tell you exactly what it wants to read when it’s ready.
Happy Reading!
Rachel
Subtle Stories 