Life, Updates

I feel like I’m falling behind

You know that nagging feeling in the back of your mind that seems to keep telling you that other people are doing better than you? That you could have been where they’re at right now if you had just not been so lazy last week, two weeks ago, last year?

Yeah, that’s what I’m feeling this week.

I would like to blame social media. But honestly, it’s because we’ve been brainwashed into the ideal that we have a timeline. Moreover, that we have a timeline AND whatever we’re doing has to be the best. It can’t just be for fun, or because we wanted to try it out, or because it’s what we wanted to do with our lives since we were small. No, no. If you’re going to even try, even a little bit, you have to go all out and make it the only thing you do and you have to be the shining example to everyone. We monetize our hobbies and then wonder why we’re so miserable.

If your brain doesn’t work like this, please tell me your secret. I would love to shut up that perfectionist in my brain and remind myself that it’s okay to just relax.

You can do things just for fun! It’s okay not to have reached your goals yet! It’s okay to take your time!

I understand that a lot of what I’m feeling could be put up to good ole’ imposter syndrome. I’m starting to feel close to being knowledgeable in something so I’m looking for ways that I’m not quite there yet by comparing myself to other people.

Maybe I’ll reread “Digital Minimalism” by Cal Newport to get myself back to a healthy level of functional social media. That might help me out a lot, get me back to working on what I love, and make me focus less on where I’m not yet to more on the road I’m travelling.

This is not at all meant to be a “pity post” but more about me showing that it’s not always my projects going great. I feel good about them usually, but sometimes I can’t help but feel just “eh.” These past couple of weeks have been some of those times. I’ll get back to inspired, back to loving my work, and back to feeling like I’m further down the road than I started. Because I really, really am further than I started.

Are you all doing alright? Have you been seeking calm like me?

Stay Well!

Rachel

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