Week 3 had me feeling a bit apathetic…although that could have been the hormonal phase I’m in as well. I got through 4 of 7 morning pages sessions. I did not go on an artist date, unless you call dragging Andrew to a smoothie place and traversing an old favorite grocery store. I did buy a favorite childhood snack (fruit snacks…I wanted cheese ritz bitz but they did not have a gluten free version where I went) and I did do the prompts from the tasks. A lot of this week was about childhood likes and fond memories.
This week may find you dealing with unaccustomed bursts of energy and sharp peaks of anger, joy and grief. You are coming into your power as the illusory hold of your previously accepted limits is shaken. You will be asked to consciously experiment with spiritual openmindedness.
I guess that tracks? I was feeling all the things last week. There’s a lot of anger and grief as I’m realizing how far I am from what I had imagined as a child, but also coming to terms with the fact that to get there I’d have to give some things up.
I always dreamed of being an artist. My favorite classes in school were surrounding art. I remember in grade school we only had art class once a month and I would wait with baited breath to be assigned a new creative project. It’s how I met Georgia O’Keefe and Frank Lloyd Wright. I remember doing construction paper projects to design something that looked like the Guggenheim, and giant flower paintings that we taped up to the walls to paint. Wisconsin-based artists that proved you didn’t have to be born somewhere “exciting” or in the middle of the “art scene” to create.
I loved drawing, and took pride in the way I could draw better than some of my classmates. I loved painting and making messes for a purpose. I don’t know where I lost that, but somewhere along the line I decided I couldn’t make a living with that. Somewhere along the line I decided that if I couldn’t make money doing it, it wasn’t worth it. Somewhere along the line, I decided I wasn’t good enough to pursue that dream.
I didn’t go to art school, didn’t even apply. I gave up that dream because of a comment from a classmate as we prepped our portfolios Junior year of high school. I switched focus to something that, in my mind, could be more flexible. Writing and art have always gone hand in hand for me. They both gave me that feeling of “flow” where time passes faster while you’re immersed in your work. I followed writing, hoping art would follow someday.
Synchronicity
A big thing this week was to look for times of “synchronicity” or the universe giving you what you want. C. G. Jung dubbed synchronicity as a fortuitous intermeshing of events.
Did I see any this week? Sure.
I was waxing poetic in my morning pages about missing remote work and the flexibility it gave me. I miss having lunch with my partner, I miss getting to have short snuggle sessions with my dog, I miss lunchtime dog walks and the quick load of laundry and cooking lunch rather than reheating it. And, on Friday, I got the chance to work remotely.
Now, the snow wasn’t that bad, and it stopped by midday. The streets were certainly travelable. But, I was tired. Tired of putting on the mask of polite, corporate. So, I stayed home to work. And I loved it.
This was obviously a small version of Synchronicity. Another piece could be the sudden acknowledgement of what Andrew and I have deemed “Nards” as we drive around. I encourage you to watch the, slightly unhinged, video that Hank Green put out about cars that look like putty. Basically…new cars are the color of putty and it’s a little uncanny to look at. It’s based off of “Nardo Grey” by Audi…and therefore…Nards. A classic case of “I didn’t notice before but now they’re everywhere.”
I’m hoping some more opportunities come up for me through this synchronicity idea. I am a firm believer though that you have to meet the universe part way, or at least in action. I think the universe likes a moving target.
Happy Creating!
Rachel
Subtle Stories 